Kal Penn and his partner Josh attend a Los Angeles Clippers-New York Knicks game at Madison Square Garden on March 24, 2019.Photo:James Devaney/Getty
James Devaney/Getty
Kal Penngave fans a major surprise in 2021 when he revealed that not only had he been in a relationship for 11 years, but that he was engaged.
While promoting his 2021 memoir,You Can’t Be Serious, Penn filled PEOPLE in on his fiancé Josh.
The actor told PEOPLE that his and Josh’s relationship was always out in the open for people they met in public and within their own circle of friends and family. However, Penn didn’t want to share their relationship with the world until his book was released in order to protect Josh’s privacy.
“I’ve always been very public with everybody I’ve personally interacted with. Whether it’s somebody I meet at a bar, if Josh and I are out or we’re talking to friends,” Penn told PEOPLE in October 2021.
He continued, “I’m reallyexcited to share our relationshipwith readers. But Josh, my parents and my brother — four people who I’m closest to in the family — are fairly quiet. They don’t love attention and shy away from the limelight.”
So who is Kal Penn’s fiancé Josh? Here’s everything to know about him and his relationship with the actor.
Penn first opened up about Josh in his memoir
Kal Penn with his memoir.Kal Penn Instagram
Kal Penn Instagram
Penn revealed his relationship with Josh in his 2021 memoir,You Can’t Be Serious. He shared with PEOPLE that he had to balance maintaining his loved ones’ privacy while also being open about his own story.
“Figuring out the narrative [in the book], of how to respect who they really are, with telling my story — that includes: my work life, both in Hollywood and D.C., it includes my love life with Josh and how we met, it includes my parents, to the extent that I’m willing to share stories about their upbringing,” he said. “So that was the most important thing for me. I wanted my story to be authentic from my perspective and told in a way that makes you feel like you really get to know me.”
Similarly, Penn said in a 2021 interview withThe New York Timesabout the memoir,“I was sure that I wanted to share two stories: one about my parents and their upbringing; and the story of how Josh and I met.”
Penn’s first impression of Josh gave him no hope for a relationship
Kal Penn and guest attend a New York Knicks vs Detroit Pistons game at Madison Square Garden on March 31, 2018.James Devaney/Getty
Penn and Josh met when the actor was living in Washington, D.C., while working in the Office of Public Engagement during the Obama administration.
“I thought, ‘This obviously is not going to work out,’ " Penn told PEOPLE. “I have one day off from the White House and this dude is unironically watching cars go around and make left turns? Next thing you know, it’s been a couple months and we’re watching NASCAR every Sunday. I’m like, ‘What is happening?’ ”
Penn toldThe New York Timesthat he thought at the time, “This guy’s leaving here in 40 minutes with 16 beers.” He added, “So the fact that we’re together 11 years later is funny because so many people have stories of dates that went awry but now they’re married and have kids.”
They’ve been seen together on rare occasions
Kal Penn, Chasten Buttigieg, Pete Buttigieg and friends in N.Y.C.Kal Penn Instagram
Josh is private to the point that he hasn’t been frequently photographed in public with Penn, but they were spotted together at several basketball games.
In 2018, they were photographed at a New York Knicks and Detroit Pistons game at Madison Square Garden in New York City, and the following year, they were seen at another Knicks game in which the team played the Los Angeles Clippers.
Josh also tends to not be featured on Penn’s social media, buta photo from June 2021appears to show the couple with politicianPete Buttigiegand his husband,Chasten Buttigieg.
Penn’s family supports their relationship
Kal Penn visits BuzzFeed’s “AM to DM” on March 11, 2020, in New York City.Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty
Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty
Penn told PEOPLE that his family supports his relationship with Josh. (Prior to revealing the relationship with Josh, Penn was not out publicly.)
“I shared things with my parents and close friends first,” theSmilestar told PEOPLE. “I know this sounds jokey, but it’s true: When you’ve already told your Indian parents and the South Asian community that you intend to be an actor for a living, really any conversations that come after that are super easy.
Penn also opened up about his personal journey. “I discovered my own sexuality relatively late in life compared to many other people,” he explained. “There’s no timeline on this stuff. People figure their s— out at different times in their lives, so I’m glad I did when I did.”
They disagree on what type of wedding they want
Penn also opened up to PEOPLE about wedding planning in 2021. He said at the time that he and Josh weren’t on the same page when it came to what size wedding they want.
“The pandemic made a lot of the wedding conversations go on pause,” he explained. “We’re both very understated about all of the pomp and circumstance stuff. The big disagreement now is whether it’s ahuge wedding or a tiny wedding.”
Penn continued, “I want the big-ass Indian wedding. Josh hates attention and [has said], ‘Or we could just do quick 20-minute thing with our families and that’s it.’ So we have to meet halfway in the middle.”
The actor did say that they’d probably be on the same page when it came to one aspect: giving their guests short notice. “Even if I win and get our gigantic Indian wedding, I guarantee you we’d still be the dummies that are like [to our invited guests], ‘Hey, we’re getting married in two weeks. You guys want to come?’ " he said.
They may have a famous wedding officiant
Kal Penn; Cardi B.Gregg DeGuire/FilmMagic ; Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty
Gregg DeGuire/FilmMagic ; Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty
Penn hasn’t given any more updates on his and Josh’s wedding in the past couple of years, but fans do know that they may have a famous officiant when they tie the knot.
In November 2021, Penn posted on X (formerly Twitter) that he dreamedCardi Bperformed his and Josh’s wedding ceremony.
“Cardi B was on my flight to L.A.,” he wrote. “I fell asleep and had a dream thatshe officiated our weddingon the plane and the three of us walked out of LAX holding hands.”
Cardi then responded, “First, why didn’t you say hi! Second, I’m licensed to do that sooo……..let me know.” The “Bongos” rapper had recently officiated a wedding as part of her Facebook Watch seriesCardi Tries.
Penn wrote back, “You’re the best. Was gonna say hi but didn’t want to be disrespectful (your do not disturb light was on). But holy s— let’s do it! We’re down if you’re down!”
source: people.com
